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She looks at me as I enter the room. Her gaze - a level below the emotional response of the average person — is wondering why I was in the kitchen for a whole hour, but she doesn't ask. She gives me time to tell it in my own way. "There was an episode of Mr. Bean downstairs," I tell her. "What happened?" she asks. "There was a cat outside, right? And I went down to mix poison into tuna and give it to her so she'd fuck off, right? So I went down, found a can of tuna, and went

In one of my darkest moments I had a conversation with a colleague, who was on the other side of the emotional swing. While I was wallowing in self pity and depression, he was on top of the world. "I fucking love my life right now" he said. "My business ideas are flourishing, I have matured and quit smoking, everything is wonderful". "Do you exercise?" I asked. "No, but I meditate" he answered. "Every morning, I spend 15 minutes breathing and thinking about my day, my plans a

It's Saturday morning and i'm thinking. A father and child drawing. The child makes his first picture of a horse. Then wants to throw it in the trash. The father stops him and asks: "Why are you throwing this away?" The child says: "Because it doesn't look real". "What is real?" Asks the father. "Real is to have a soul" The child says. "And you cant see the soul in your horse?" "No", Says the child. "I see", says the father. "Can you point to me where lies your soul?" The chi

The alien ambassador plrtzglurb slithered on the floor like a giant snail. Shaped mostly like an ooze slime monster from old DnD games, the ambassador had a somewhat large gaping hole in the middle of where a human chest would be. An axe-like bulge erupted from the forehead of the ambassador. In his culture, a popular tale for children would explain the anatomical bulge. In the tale, plurtzes didn't always have axe-like bulges. Thousands of years ago, they we re living as hun

"It's those stinking feet I can't stand. Always those disgusting worms staring at me across the flower rows. Look at this fool, sitting there on his lawn chair with his crusty toes. God, the hate is unbearable. I can't take it. I won't. I won't take it anymore!" And so i laid some rows of bricks - ankle high - stretched from one end of the yard to the other. "Marvelous. My idiot neighbor placed a row of bricks on our property lines. Oh, the cleverness. It screams to high heav

BREATH DEEP INHALE. My son broke an egg and I asked why were you holding an egg at 10pm were you making an omelette? No, Then why were you holding an egg? Nevermind dad, so after a long investigation I finally asked "can you just tell me why you were holding an egg ?" and he said "don't be mad but I just wanted to hold an egg" and another time we were in the room my wife and I and the boy was taking a shower and suddenly we hear knocking on the walls I go ask my son what the

One time my wife blamed me for shaving my head without showering thus leaving small hairs on the bed as I lay there. I was lost for words for a few seconds without any nonsense excuse coming out of my mouth except "I aaa I showered my head afterwards with the shower head". She looked at me as the idiot that I am and I was about to concede the fight but just then I found a small nail clipping from her own nail clipping earlier. That shred of nail was the most beautiful thing i

My wife was quietly reading a book so I told her I married her only for her looks but to find out she's also smart was a huge bonus. She barely looked up, her eyes and eyebrows just shifted slightly up and she gave me a look. I doubled down and said: "because looks fade. not yours, obviously. but they fade, so it's important to have something more". She kept looking without saying a word. I said: "It's good that our son is like you, not just handsome but also smart. otherwise

Why i never take my wife to Thailand to watch the fights with me (and why I should bring her more often). Last time she came, we go down to the lobby for dinner. The event that finished last night featured an interim championship fight for the kickboxing belt between Thai legend Prajanchai and Italian Jonathan di bella. We sit down next to the windows and start chatting. Few minutes later, a tall, handsome almost feminine man enters the lobby. He's lean and has great hair an

Yesterday a person I barely know messaged me and asked if everyone back home was OK given theres a war going on and all. I don't know what answer would satisfy as I barely know the person. "Well my uncle disintegrated from a direct ballistic missile that fell on his house" i'd reply. "Oh", he would say. "Im so sorry to hear that". "Yeah. The dog died too". "Were you close?" "To the dog? Yeah quite." "Haha" he would reply. "I mean your uncle". Fuck me. I'd rather have died fr

In the absence of conflict, we create one. It sounds deep, sure. But imagine how stupid we must be. In the ABSENCE of something that annoys, hurts or offends us. Our minds CREATES something Emotional, Physical, or Mental to change that. That is the equivalent of a zebra roaming around freely in the open safari reserve, safe from predators, happy and full bellied. And then that zebra looks over at the lion section, rolls up its sleeves and goes: “safe and free am I? we’l

Biton is an interesting guy. He is half Moroccan half Polish jew. he looks like what Jesus would look like in shows that try to be woke...

We talk you know? We aren't just 2 horny teens. Like i'd say: "Banana chips are both the fanciest form of snack and the absolute garbage...

We drove up north from Jerusalem. To some place we've never been to. Never heard of. For Her. Just to see. Her. Yes, she is just a friend...

An alien spirit came down from the sky one day and told the people of that world: I am the supreme being. I know all for I have created...

Sometimes I realize how much of a child I am and marvel I'm supposed to be an adult. I'm supposed to raise other humans? People listen to...

"Finding Meaning". Blah. It is unclear to me if meaning gives hope or if hope keeps the search for meaning alive. But both are becoming...

Look at you. Just sitting there. Gardening on your phone. Without a care in the world. “Cares like what?” Don’t you care why there is...